Recognising the Symptoms of Impostor Syndrome
You really want this opportunity and you believe it is the right one for you. Of course, this is a conscious thought and you are now voicing it over and over to convince yourself that it's the right decision for you. All plain sailing so far, you've just got to run it past your Unconscious Mind. Let's call this your UM moment.
Now, all hell breaks loose in your head and you are questioning why you ever thought it a good idea to go for the opportunity!
Just to be clear, impostor syndrome is not about being self aware or checking in with yourself. As you run through your options, you are experiencing a very real and very pervasive, mental struggle.
Now you're starting to feel as if you're a fraud and you're going to get called out for it any time now. Your breathing can become laboured, you might sweat and you may even be considering fleeing the scene!
Likewise, you have achieved something brilliant. Even as you are accepting the acknowledgement, your UM has stepped in to challenge the validity of your success. You are now feeling a fraud and believe that you don't deserve your recognition.
Do you want to live with your unwanted and emotionally draining impostor syndrome, or do you want to stop feeling like an impostor?
Digging deep to discover the roots of your Impostor Syndrome
The UM has many jobs and one of these is to protect you and keep you alive. You're breathing aren't you and your heart is beating? This and your other bodily stuff is run by this incredible 'computer' which is the Unconscious Mind, your UM.
Everything you're dealing with now is being fed by by which are gathered by the UM from past experiences. You probably never interviewed, aged 2, for a big job, but your current internal dialogue was being formed by experiences even back then.
Your place in the family can influence your beliefs, as can your earliest memories of being in school.
Case study
Simon is a successful cinematographer. His career was golden and was just about to get more golden. As he sat with another influential film person, his mind started wandering and his mild self doubt turned into a full blown panic attack. He was forced to leave the venue and seemingly his big opportunity had evaporated before his eyes.
His UM shuffled all of the negative stuff he'd experienced as a very young schoolboy and fed him it's opinion. Based on this data, his decision was that he wasn't entitled to be there and he had no choice but to flee the scene. 10/10 to the UM for using it's stored internal messages to save him from feeling like an impostor. The problem was that his UM was working on outdated and irrelevant stored data.
So, what could he achieve if he could simply challenge his internal stored data and rewrite his internal messaging?
Simon could not believe how fast his UM took him back to that formative place in his younger years. His young sense of self had been royally trashed by a clumsy teacher, who shall remain nameless.
He was visibly elated as we rapidly shifted those negative beliefs, freeing him up to believe in the competent person he is today.
I bagged the first feature film job that I was put forward for and am currently shooting it. I'm a completely different person to who I was before we spoke and for that I thank you!! Simon Stolland
Stop feeling like an impostor
Challenge where the unhelpful thoughts have come from.
This can be tough if they are deeply rooted in your UM. With professional help, you can free them up really quickly.
Celebrate your achievements, however small you believe them to be.
Your UM needs to be reminded over and over that you are good enough.
Acknowledge that you have and will make mistakes.
Mistakes are a way of life, so learn from them. What could you do differently?
Seek validation.
Create a trusted validation tribe who will give you positive and encouraging feedback.
YOU ARE HUMAN!
Humans are perfectly imperfect and we all screw up. Stop that relentless and thankless task in seeking perfection. Cut yourself some slack and move on.
Suggested reading material
There are numerous books about impostor syndrome and how to stop feeling like an impostor. Here are a few which are simply written with a powerful message.
The Chimp Paradox - Prof Steve Peters
The Imposter Cure - Dr.Jessamy Hibberd
You are a Badass - Jan Sincero