I Never Dreamed That One Day I Would Have Everything I Wanted In My Life

Working with mature and often emotionally depleted women requires them to place a lot of trust in me. In the spirit of sharing, I'd like to share a bit about myself and my story.

After two years of designing and building our home from the ground up, my husband and I have recently settled into a light filled house in the Dorset countryside, a space that reflects the calm and simplicity we’ve come to value. Life is now slower and more intentional. It’s shaped by morning walks, meaningful conversations, and the quiet joy of just being still. We have five grown-up children, seven grandchildren and two dogs. This season of life is all about space to breathe.

Life is pretty idyllic, although it wasn’t always like this. It was a very long way from idyllic.

Outwardly, I appeared to be in control, with a good career. I headed a large sales team, raised young children, but I had a lot of personal stuff going on in my life. I think I’d have carried on like this until I died, which is a harrowing thought now.

Despite raising my kids and holding down a successful career, I had literally come to a standstill with nowhere to turn and feeling like I dared not share any of the negative stuff I was experiencing. This would show an out of control version of me.

In fact, the driving thought that had run through my life was, 'What will people think of me?'

I realised that every decision I was making had everyone else at the centre of it, never what was good for me.

My external image was one of cool aloofness, capability, strength and dedication. What a great job I’d done in hiding all of the dark stuff.

My inner me was, in fact, very dark, very broken and washed up. I had run out of steam and had nothing left in reserve. I felt I’d wasted my life and was too old to change anything.

Little did I know what an amazing life lay ahead!