I spent a lot of years resenting what other people have. There, now I've said it!
As a child I was taught that hard work and honesty will get you everything you want in life. These aren't shabby values but they have their limitations. I have always worked hard and have always tried to be honest, but when life got really tough, this wasn’t enough to keep me going. I believed that I deserved more and felt pretty short changed.
Deservedness is a state of mind which will block your way forward and without you even realising it. If you've ever uttered the words:"I deserve more than this," or: "I don't deserve this crap," you will have entered the mental wilderness that is deservedness.
Once you’re here, this leads to no good, and you will be trapped in a resourceless state forever.
Unless you decide to change
Have you ever thought about the times you've intended to do something? You've set your heart on it and in your mind its achievable.
- I am going to lose weight
- I am perfect for that new role
- I am cutting back on my drinking
- I am leaving this relationship
- I am ready to start that relationship
- I am going to put my prices up
- I am going to finish this project
You've created the dream, you've visualised it, voiced it and maybe played it in your head over and over again. This time it is going to work! This time I will succeed!
Only it doesn't work and you don't succeed and you are now feeling very let down by life.
Worse still you are now resenting what other people have! They've done it and they're in that amazing place that you feel is yours.
The rules around achievement are that you consciously create a goal and subconsciously believe that you can achieve it. If you are stuck in the rut of deservedness, you will have all of the necessary resources to create your goal, but down in the engine room, your subconscious mind will be sending out signals that you don't deserve it.
All of your mental debris is backed and blocking up your neural pathways. Now you will most likely sabotage your goal, sink the ship and seek consolation.
That's easier and it's comfortable isn't it?
So now you're not only resenting what other people have, you're also feeling like a failure! Double whammy!
Come on, you know you're worth it. If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?
Feelings of resentment for what other people have, will have lead you straight into some pretty dire states of mind and hold you there. Feelings of:
Is this how you really want to be? If not, how about having an honest conversation with yourself?
Once you've decided enough is enough, your mind will enter that precious resourceful place.
You can reprogramme your subconscious and align it with your conscious mind. Now you are well on track for a cracking resolution to your goal, whatever it may be!
I spent far too long resenting what other people have until I learned what I now know to be NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming).
The simple and super rapid changes to your life can happen in just one day!
How many more failed attempts at success do you want?
If you want to read more about The Law of Deservedness, Patrick Wanis coined the phrase in 2006