Grey Area Drinking in Midlife: It Was Just One Glass... Until It Wasn’t
There’s a space many midlife women quietly find themselves in, between the casual glass of wine here and there and a growing sense that it’s become more than just that. This is called “grey area drinking”
I’m not talking about addiction, or hitting rock bottom. It’s about recognising when a habit is no longer helping you feel how you want to feel.
Perhaps that glass of wine at the end of the day has become more than a treat and it’s become the way you unwind, reset, cope or tune out.
But what if it’s actually tuning you out of the life you want to live?
I want you to get curious, is it now more than a habit, is it covering up something that needs looking at more deeply?
Feeling lost in the roles where you once felt invincible. Now you are no longer sure of who you are.
- Unmet needs for relaxation, pleasure, validation and purpose.
- Grief for aging parents, empty nests, changing bodies, loss of confidence.
- Overwhelm from career pressure, caregiving and emotional upheaval.
This is where your glass of wine becomes not a treat, but your escape tunnel. But what if what you really need is reconnection?
You might not think of your evening glass as a problem, and that’s okay. But noticing the little ways it chips away at your energy, your clarity, or your sleep can be the first step.
Over time, it may also feed:
- Mood dips and irritability
- Binge snacking or low motivation
- More anxiety, less resilience
- Patterns you thought you’d left behind
And the sneakiest part? That quiet voice suggesting life is duller without it.
What If There’s Another Way?
I’m not writing this article to tell you to give something up, but I just want to invite you to think more deeply about this topic and consider trying something new.
As Dr. Jillian Teitelman beautifully says:“Keep the ritual, change the ingredients.”
Our minds love a familiar wind down routine. So why not honour that, just with a twist? A (brilliant) key principle for reducing or replacing alcohol is that you don’t have to lose the ritual. Our unconscious mind loves a ritual! You can carry on enjoying your nightly relaxation with your fancy glass or two. Did you know your mind can be trained to accept almost anything it believes will reward you?
- Evening wine in a beautiful glass?
- Cocktails with partner or friends?
- Destress after work drink?
- Celebration bubbles?
- Cooking dinner drink?
- Night time switch off glass?
Healthy evening rituals / alcohol-free alternatives
- Sparkling water with zingy ginger, lime & herbs. This is a refreshing alcohol-free evening drink.
- Botanical spritz in your favourite wine glass.
- 0% gin & tonic or mocktails with a friend
- Kombucha with frozen berries
- A beautiful herbal tea in your prettiest cup
It’s not about perfection. It’s about noticing, experimenting, and tuning in at midlife because you’re not just letting go of something, you’re making space for something better. There are so many reduced alcohol and alcohol-free alternatives, allowing you to enjoy a healthy evening ritual.
Use your fancy glasses, your beautiful stirrers, your ice and slice. Your grey area drinking suddenly became, your radiant ritual!
You’re not numbing, you’re choosing.
You’re not stuck, you’re evolving.
Some resources to explore
“Sober Curious” by Ruby Warrington sober curious.com
“Quit Like A Woman” by Holly Whitaker
“The Sober Club” with Janey Lee Grace www.thesoberclub.com
“Saging, Not Aging” Jules Whale juleswhale.com
If you’d like more conversations like this, join me in Between Us, my monthly letter for midlife women who are ready to feel more present, confident, and connected. You can sign up by scrolling to the bottom of my homepage and adding your email address.
Many midlife women find themselves in the space between casual drinking and dependence. Learn how to recognise grey area drinking, why it happens, and how to create alcohol-free rituals that nourish you.
Download these reflective prompts to help you understand your relationship with alcohol.